"I had many things to write, but I will not with ink and pen write unto thee..."   POETRYrepairs v07.09:099
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VALERIE MACEWAN
Nettie			

Nettie sits, propped up in a lounge chair surrounded by pillows, 
afghans, and live oak, I sit on the ground, my hands in my lap, 
sunglasses off.
I look up at my mother,
see the sun bounce off her face.

.... and when I grow old, I will live in a castle on top of a 
mountain which is surrounded by water.
I will have everything in the world that I wish to eat with salt 
and pepper, garlic, and ice cream, always, always, homemade ice 
cream with peaches, and toffee and caramels.
I?ll have one of every kind of dog in the world and horses, yes 
horses, white horses, Arabians, running free on the beach below.
Swimming in the sea.... horses swimming in the sea.
Everyone who lives in my castle
and everyone who lives in my castle will love me.
They will want to be with me.
I will never be alone and music will come from everywhere.
All music.... opera, symphonies.... and some swing, yes, we?ll 
have Glenn Millers Band in the evenings.
Violins, sopranos, vaudevillians, clowns, amusing me.
They will make us laugh because they want to, not because someone 
pays them.
I will be the center of attention.
We will all want to be together.
I?ll have a birthday party every day and cake, and ice cream, and 
presents and everyone will laugh.
They will want to be with me.
I will never be alone, not for one minute.
And you?ll be there, won't you.
You?ll be there and you?ll hold my hand until I fall asleep.
You?ll still be holding my hand when I wake up.
You won't let me be alone,
you will want to be with me.
You won't want me to live in one room, and sleep in a bed with 
steel rails and make me eat things I don't like.
Nurse.... I don't want to go back now....
I want to stay with her....
Nurse, nurse, let her stay.
Don't make her go.... please.


The Oxford English Dictionary defines REPAIR: Concourse or confluence of people at or in a place; resort, frequent or habitual going; making one's way; to arrive; to dwell; to heal, to cure, to recover; to renew; (AND!) to fix to original condition. In each sense, www.poetryrepairs.com
"Poetry endangers the established order in the soul."   poetryREpairs v07.09:099
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"Repair Your Mind...Read More Poetry!"   poetryrePAIRs v07.09:099
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SUZANNE SCARFONE
Looking			

I haven't looked like myself
for a long time
a kind of unblinking startled look
surprises my blue eyes
I seem worn and alone
but you have never stared into
a mirror
for twelve years it's been
one colorful paradise
it's not hard to sleep
and you don't need to remember
your dreams
roses and fields
and melon leaves
and lemons on counters
show up everywhere
and sometimes the day
sweats into a peach-tinged
mist where the sun
bleeds pink through the icy sky
and melts into an ocean wet
with other inky lives
you taste crumbling sugar in everything you eat and real joy is noisy 
and painted and windy riding a bike at night and walking by yourself 
with nowhere in mind and answering the spinning and reeling of your 
body with yelps and jumps and when I talk to you you don't hear me 
only the drumming insistence of your heart and flesh the sounds of 
your boyhood pull you into the urgency of breathing and looking and 
moving but lately you seem to sense that maybe I do not live in this 
same whirl and that's why I talk so much more than you and your desire 
to run and run and never come back seems frantic will it be that 
tomorrow morning you will slowly wake pale and warm and wrap yourself 
in the white worn blanket and look into the mirror and stand still and 
say "I don't look like myself"
and without raising your yellow-
blue eyes ask
 
"do I"


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