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RAYMOND JOHNSTON Jr
Sanity, Are You Kidding?
Do you have what it takes to be an ezine publisher? Someone told me the other day that anyone could become a newsletter or ezine publisher. That put me into some deep thought about the situation.
I decided that it was probably true that anyone could become a publisher of an ezine or newsletter. The trick is to publish one that is successful and still keep one's sanity.
Sanity you ask? How could I possibly lose my sanity putting out an issue of a newsletter or ezine? Well my good friend, let me help you count the ways.
Right after I first started publishing, I had the chance to go up to a mountain lake with some friends one evening. I actually needed to get my ezine out but I thought what the heck, I will get up a few hours early tomorrow morning and finish putting it together. Wrong unwise one.
The next morning when I got up my electricity was off. I waited quite impatiently as I watched the hours tick away. My wife had a doctor's appointment that afternoon, so I had to leave to take her to town. She had been unable to drive for the last few months due to destroyed ligaments in her foot.
I tried to not think about it as I took her to town. Of course when we finished at the doctor's office, she insisted that I take her out to eat. Well, if you think there was any way that I could say no to that one, you obviously don't have a wife. Or you won't have one for long.
We arrived back home late in the afternoon. I was thrilled to find that the electricity was working again. I started putting together my issue of the ezine. I went to connect to the internet to send it out and could not hook up to my ISP.
I got on the phone and called my ISP and was told that they were having problems of some sort and were not sure when service would be restored.
By this time it was getting on up in the evening and all at once the realization came that I should already have tomorrow's issue ready and yet I had not even started.
This was far from comforting. So I started putting tomorrow's issue together. I had just started working on it when my wife hollered and asked me if I was going to work all night. That's right I thought, I promised her that I would spend some time with her this evening.
After spending a couple of hours with my wife, I started working on the ezine again. I worked until about 2:00 AM. I finally finished and went up to get a few hours sleep before I had to get back up.
About 3:30 I was startled out of bed by what appeared to be a loud scream. I started running towards my wife's bedroom when here came that startling sound again. It was my Tom Cat. He was ready to go outside. Oh I could ignore him but if you know anything about Tom Cats, that would have only punished myself more.
I went back to bed only to be awaken by a cat fight around 4:45. The Tom from the next valley over had came over to pay us a friendly visit. Of course his idea of a friendly visit was to come over and see if he could kill my cat.
Well my cat had not made any brownie points by waking me up earlier but if I did not go rescue him, I would be in the dog house with my wife. This would never work because the only pet facility that we had was a small cat palace and I already had a backache.
To heck with trying to sleep. I went to check and see if my ISP was back up. Great, I was back in business. I first sent out yesterday's issue and then put the finishing touches on today's. I then sent it out as well.
I then decided to go check my mail and make sure I received both issues. I looked at the first issue and I had forgotten to put the right address in the Title. Instead of my first name, which will show if I type the following [FIRSTNAME], I saw [FIRSTNAME. I had forgot to close my parenthesis and everyone's ezine came out addressed to [FIRSTNAME.
I then took a look at today's issue. I had typed in the wrong date on the top, I had forgotten to put contact information in my ad for a advertising special. I was not feeling real good about myself at this point.
I then looked back at my mail and saw a note addressed to me with suggestion as the subject. I thought, to heck with reading that. After the last two days, they are probably suggesting that I take a permanent vacation. I just don't know if I can take that kind of rejection right now. I need sleep.
I headed up to bed and passed my wife who was heading down the steps. She asked if I was going up to change into work clothes. My mind started churning, what had I promised to do this morning?
She brought me out of my thought by informing me that she would do the inside of the windows while I did the outside.
Sanity? That has long since passed me by.
So back to the question, can anyone publish an ezine?
Well if the subscriber who sent me the suggestion is anywhere close to correct, I am not qualified to answer. Here is his suggestion.
You could not publish a #$%&*%$ ezine if your ^$##@*%#* life depended on it.
I also got brave and told my wife that I don't do windows.
I am now trying to get some of the sleep that my body so desperately needs but the accommodations seem less than cozy. This cat palace is sure not the luxurious place that I had been led to believe.
Honey, I was just kidding, I will gladly help with those windows.
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