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DAVE PHILLIPS
Blood River*		

Just awhile ago,
It seems it was yesterday,
They called us.
Called us to say,
You have the honorable duty!
What did we know?
It seems it was yesterday,
When our innocence lived, then died.
They called us to say,
You must go for your country now!
Today, a memory of that time,
Yesterday, It seems it was.
They made a call to make a Blood River.
a Blood River running to the sea.
Some of us would never come back,
Yesterday, it seems it was.
Some of us died and some bled,
And some of us sailed home on a River of Blood.
---copyright DAVE PHILLIPS

*River of Blood... .

I remember Vietnam, I didn't fight in it but I lost a lot of friends there. I am just writing this poem to reflect what we felt back in the 60's and 70's and how that parallels to the Iraq/Afganistan war. I wrote this in 2003/2004 as I saw our overseas policy take some wrong turns. We have so many men and women over there, I am not sure the government of the United States has made a compelling stance to justify our sons and daughters dying fighting an enemy that mirrors the Viet Cong. There is some similarity in the portrayal of a war of attrition that the Viet Cong and the Taliban have fed to the news media. You could say the present war is also a river of oil, i.e. flowing to us with our dead children in it. -DAVE PHILLIPS

JH: I had thought this poem suggessted the river of Catholic refugees streaming out of the newly created Republic of North Vietnam, and it could have easily represented the dead floating in such numbers that the bodies stretched from one bank of the Mekong to the other. Equally, the notion of 'sailing home' suggests the ignominious withdrawal from Saigon and the images of 'boat people' refugees leaving the recently unified Vietnam. I think all refugees are equally a 'River of Blood'. Our most recent candidate might be the people of Darfur and of Southern Sudan who are oppressed and often enslaved by their Moslem masters in Khartoum.
Ultimately, there is a River of Blood in each of us. If enough of us change its course, perhaps world will stop its red flow.

REPAIR: Concourse or confluence of people at or in a place; resort, frequent or habitual going; making one's way; to arrive; to dwell; to heal, to cure, to recover; to renew; (AND!) to fix to original condition. Oxford English Dictionary
"Poetry endangers the established order in the soul."
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STEPHEN WOESSNER
Proofreading and Copy Editing

Technology has changed the standards for proofreading and copy editing, and even caused the roles to overlap in some situations. "Traditionally, proofreaders are responsible for finding errors during the typesetting or formatting of a final document," notes Darryl Brunsvold, The AVS Group's technical writer and copy editor. "On the other hand, copy editors work on draft information, correct inappropriate grammar, check word usage, and make sure the document follows the rules of English. The copy editor also checks the document for a consistent look and feel."

It is important to know that proofreading and copy editing are done at varying levels. Each requires different skills and experience. "A higher level of copy editing may be needed, for example, when the author is providing technical information to a non-technical audience," says Brunsvold.



Proofreading

Originally, proofreading was the late-stage correcting of material that had already been professionally set in type. Proofreading literally means "the reading and checking of proofs" against the original. Today, the term is generally used to mean the final checking of any text-based information. There are two levels of proofreading:

Basic proofreading.

In basic proofreading, proofreaders check copy word-for-word against a marked-up draft and identify errors for correction. Basic proofreaders may also check for typographical errors, repetition of small words, and correct styles.

Editorial proofreading.

In editorial proofreading, proofreaders also check for errors in word usage (for instance, the use of to instead of too), hyphenation, and subject-verb agreement. If asked, editorial proofreaders can look for grammar problems (using which instead of that). They can also recommend changes in word choice or inappropriate punctuation. Editorial proofreading is usually done on material that has already been edited or reformatted.

Copy editing

Alternatively, copy editors review finished copy for spelling, grammar, consistency, and format. "In many ways, being a copy editor is like taking an English exam that never ends: one's knowledge of spelling, grammar, punctuation, word usage, and syntax is continuously being tested," notes Brunsvold.

At all levels of copy editing, copy editors correct errors, point out conflicting statements to the author, and request advice when the means of resolving a problem is unclear.

Throughout all this, copy editors fix whatever is incorrect, confusing, ambiguous, or inappropriate.

for example, the ambiguous phrase, "Replace the old component." Depending on context, this could mean "Return the old component to its original place" or "Substitute a new component for the old one." After a discussion with the author, the copy editor would rewrite the phrase to clarify the meaning.

Levels of editing Three levels of copy editing are normally adequate for most jobs: light, medium (standard), and heavy. An additional level, globalization copy editing, is used for information that is likely to be translated.

Light (baseline) copy editing.

Light copy editing is very similar to editorial proofreading but does a more thorough check of grammar rules.

Medium (standard) copy editing.

Medium copy editing also checks for style consistency and relationships between text and graphics. Table-of-contents entries and organizational problems are also corrected.

Heavy (substantive) copy editing.

The main difference between medium and heavy copy editing is the level of judgment and rewriting involved. In a heavy copy edit, editors try to improve the flow of text by rewriting portions to enforce a uniform level, tone, and focus. They change passive voice to active voice and add missing articles (a, an, the). They also rearrange sentences to improve readability. This is particularly true with technical copy. For example, the phrase 'hermetic two stage gear drive compressor' Is made more readable by adding a bit of punctuation, like this: '"hermetic, two-stage, gear-drive compressor.'

Globalization copy editing.

The globalization copy editor is trained in international and cultural issues and familiar with the challenges that translators face. In addition to all the normal functions of copy editing, globalization copy editing focuses on eliminating ambiguity of any form. The purpose is to make the translation process easier, while working with authors to ensure that changes do not affect technical accuracy of the information. The globalization copy editor also advises customers about aspects of writing that are affected by international publishing of information. This includes characters such as "#" and "&" that do not exist in some languages or have multiple meanings. Another problem area is dates, where 2/5/02 in the United States generally means February 5, but in most European countries, it means May 2. [JH - poetryREpairs uses the European model.]

Both proofreading and copy editing can be valuable to the documents you publish. With a copy editor's ability to make your message clear and a proofreader's eye for detail, your documents will be well respected and professional.

--copyright STEPHEN WOESSNER---

The AVS Group is a marketing, training, and communications company. AVS is in La Crosse, Wisconsin. AVS helps clients communicate and market effectively. AVS can be found online at http://www.avsgroup.com




---copyright STEPHEN WOESSNER

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ELISHA PORAT
The Fragrance of Mignonette
"Until I smelled the fragrance of the cut grass, I didn't believe I was home again." said the young soldier back stricken from the battle on the Canal. And I, who was stricken after him, fifteen years after him, did not believe I had risen from my bed: drunk as then climbing to the clay hilltop, flattening myself on its grass. And reviving in its good warmth: like a child coming back wrapped in the sweet fragrance of Mignonette. ELISHA PORAT Odor di Reseda "Finche? non ho odorato la fragranza dell'erba tagliata non ho creduto di essere tornato di nuovo a casa". mi ha detto il giovane soldato che torno? battuto dalla battaglia del canale di Suez. e io che sono stato battuto dopo di lui, quindici anni dopo di lui, non avrei creduto di alzarmi dal letto: ebbro come quella volta che sono salito in cima alla collina di rossa argilla a stendermi sull'erba. a rivivere nel suo buon calore: come un bimbo che torna avvolto. d'una dolce fragranza di Reseda.

---copyright ELISHA PORAT ---

PORAT's 'original' poem (translated from the Hebrew by Vivian Eden, 1999) and its translation into Italian (traduzione : Rachele Amir, 1999.) were previusly published on poetryREpairs 01.01:011

'all the fine arts are species of poetry'
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